In a Glance
by Dante Morose
Summary: What if Cloud could see into the future? How does this change things? Or does anything change at all?


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

Had a bad day again. Poor Cloud always suffers because of it…

* * *

The rain beat down his spikes, plastering his blond bangs to his forehead. His eyes stared up into the grey clouds and an ache formed in his chest at the longing to see the blue sky just once more. Water splashed onto his face. The occasional raindrop landed in his eye, but he rubbed it away and gazed up once more. Clothes soaked through, he stood shivering as the wind blew through him; the air swerved around his arms as his body broke the biting current.

In his chest his own heart thumped softly, the continuous noise a sure sign he still lived. All of it felt like a dream.

"Cloud?" Zack's voice bounced to him from the stairwell and suddenly Cloud felt very aware of where he was standing. His eyes widened in surprise at hearing Zack's voice, but he didn't flinch. Cloud knew Zack had seen him when his friend's voice abruptly jolted into shock. "_Cloud?_"

Cloud's boots toed the edge of the cement. He hardly knew what he was doing up there on that ledge. All he had wanted was to see the sky, and instead he was faced only with dew drops from heaven.

"Cloud?" Zack asked again, voice edged with raw panic and overflowing worry. "What are you doing up here, buddy?"

Cloud didn't answer. Instead he lowered his head to gaze below him. All that stood between him and the ground was a single step forward and a seventy story drop. The pavement below appeared a dark grey and the streets seemed more cluttered with traffic than usual. Dots of color betrayed open umbrellas. No one seemed to appreciate the rain. If only they knew that those underneath the Plate had never _seen _rain. What was bad for some was a beauty to others. If only they knew what it was to taste it, to _feel_ it.

Cloud wished he could feel the rain falling on him. Standing in it so long had numbed his senses and he trembled with cold. If only the images in his mind had numbed as well. If they had then maybe he wouldn't be out there on top of ShinRa's building.

Zack, taking Cloud's glance at the ground as a bad sign, cautiously took a few steps forward. "It's pretty windy up here today, Spike," he tried. "D'ya mind stepping off that ledge? Wouldn't want ya slipping off by accident." His voice was calm now – too calm.

"I don't want to," Cloud answered. It was true; he didn't want to move from the ledge, but he didn't want to fall off it either. He wasn't sure he wanted to throw everything away, but would things ever get better if he lived?

_No, don't think about it, _Cloud scowled at himself and shook his head as though it could stymie his thoughts from resurfacing.

"Alright," Zack sidestepped so he was nearing Cloud without invading his immediate personal space. "You wanna tell me what's going on then?"

Cloud's shoulders sagged in a soundless sigh. "No." The word came out weary and broken.

"Are you…okay?"

_Stupid question, Zack. I'm standing on the edge of the tallest building on Gaia, I can't feel my hands or feet, and I want to cry. No, I am not okay._

Cloud breathed in shakily. He could sense Zack struggling not to drag him off the ledge and hug him tight with all his SOLDIER strength. Cloud should just step forward and be done with it. He didn't want to die, but…how could one person bear so much pain and sadness? How could a person handle life knowing what he was destined to become?

Zack spoke casually with a deadly calm lilt tainting his usual rapid prattle. "Hey, if this is about dragging you along into the science labs to play with Hollander's latest chemical concoction, I'm sorry. I didn't think they could demote you any further than cadet. If it makes you feel better, Angeal made me clean every bathroom in the building every day for a week."

A soft noise, an almost-laugh, escaped Cloud. He shook his head slightly. Zack was trying to fix things for him the only way he knew how: talking. It wouldn't fix a thing. Zack tried, but…no one could fix this.

"No?" Zack continued, moving infinitesimally closer as he spoke. "Is it because I tried to get you drunk at the Goblin Bar last week? Because I'm really sorry about that one. I should've known there was a reason you don't drink. I've never seen someone with severe alcohol intolerance before."

Cloud raised his eyes toward the skyline by the far off horizon. "It's not that."

"But you're still glad I'm sorry about that one?" Zack surmised.

Cloud smiled faintly. "Yeah, I guess."

Beside him Zack laughed lightly, still treating the situation with as much caution as necessary while still trying to reach out and bring Cloud back to sanity. Grunting, Zack used his arms to lift himself onto the ledge only inches from where Cloud stood. "Let's see what's so interesting up here," he said as he clambered up. Shocked with confusion, Cloud only watched as Zack straightened himself and stood confidently on the slippery edge of oblivion. "Hm, the people are a lot smaller." Zack tilted his head. He looked at Cloud, but the blond looked away before they could make eye contact. "If you don't mind," Zack spoke in that slow, careful manner again. "I think I'm going to sit down. Being up this high makes me dizzy."

Cloud watched as Zack settled his legs over the side of the wall with his hands gripping the ledge on either side of him. Zack glanced up at Cloud, but Cloud looked away too late. As their eyes met, Cloud's vision flashed with red. Blood and rain _everywhere_. On Zack's face, on his chest, on the rocky ground underneath his torn and dying body. And Cloud was there, kneeling over him with blood over one eye and something heavy clasped in his hands.

And then Cloud blinked. He gasped as the image faded. Tears pooled in his eyes as he tore away from Zack's friendly gaze. He tried to conceal his rising emotions, but Zack grasped his wrist.

"Spike?" Zack asked uncharacteristically quietly. "Can you sit down and tell me what's wrong?" Cloud's lip trembled over his chattering teeth. "Please?"

Closing his eyes, Cloud nodded, but at that action, the tears escaped him and joined the raindrops sliding off his cheeks. Zack helped Cloud sit, never once letting go of Cloud's wrist as if he feared Cloud might change his mind and tip off the edge anyway. Once Cloud was sitting, Zack immediately closed the space between them and wrapped a strong arm around Cloud's shaking shoulders, both as precaution and as comfort.

In Zack's embrace, Cloud sobbed. He didn't care where he was or what he was doing there; he just wanted to release the emotions burying him alive inside. Cloud hugged himself and cried. After a few minutes, he finally spat out, "I hate it!" At the words, his sobs increased intensity. "I hate it. I hate it. I hate it!"

He could feel Zack's worried gaze on him, but Cloud didn't look up.

"It's not fair…It's just not fair…" Cloud choked out between shuddering breaths.

"Please tell me, Spike," Zack pleaded. "Maybe we can do something to fix it."

Cloud shook his head. "It can't. There's nothing _anybody _can do! It's not fair. You don't– You sh-shouldn't have to– a-and I don't want to be…I'm scared, Zack. I'm scared 'cause I don't wanna be a monster!"

Zack's grip loosened. Alarm bordering on restrained anger spoke to Cloud. "Cloud, you are _not _a monster."

Shaking his head, Cloud protested, "Not now, but–" He cut himself short, his violent sobs reducing to soft pants as he closed back in on himself.

Sighing at his own outburst, Zack forced himself to be gentle, seeing how the sternness in his voice had cut him off from Cloud's trust. "But what?" He thought he had made an irreparable mistake, but Cloud whispered sadly.

"_But I can _see _it."_

"You can see yourself becoming one?" Zack tried to clarify.

Cloud sniffed and brought a hand to brush the water and tears away from his eyes. "Not in the way you're thinking."

"Well, what do you mean then?"

Cloud frowned. "Zack, I can see…"

"See what, buddy?" Zack coaxed.

Cloud swallowed. The noisy drumming of raindrops on the roof nearly drowned his whisper. "I know how you're going to die."

Zack didn't move for a second, but the moment passed quickly and he jostled Cloud slightly. "Aw, Spike. Nobody knows how they're going to die."

"No, Zack," Cloud pulled away from his friend and put his hands on the ledge on each side of him. "You don't understand." His voice still bore traces of tears, but he had stopped crying for now.

Zack's posture tensed again as he prepared to grab for Cloud should he tip forward and fall, but he kept his voice steady, coaxing, and as close to the sense of "normal" as he could manage. "You're right. I don't understand. Maybe you could tell me what you mean?"

Cloud blinked, holding his eyelids closed for a moment before opening them and looking directly at Zack. "I look at you," he started, "and all I see is blood. When I look at my mom, all I see is fire. I couldn't help it when I ran into Sephiroth with you." His breathing quickened like he was about to break down again, "I looked at him, and…and I- I saw it. I saw the same thing again when we bumped into Hojo, you know, on the way out of the lab after messing with Hollander's stuff, and _Aerith_–"

"What about Aerith?" Zack stopped him. "Cloud, slow it down. You're going to make yourself sick."

"It's not just Aerith," Cloud started with some frustration. "When I look into somebody's eyes, I can see exactly how they die." He breathed heavily, working himself down from hyperventilation.

"Okay…" Zack drew out the word. "So how does _that _lead to you standing on a ledge ready to throw yourself off?"

"Zack," Cloud trembled as he fought to retain control of his emotions. "In their eyes I can see who I become. I _kill _people in the future. I mean, not as a SOLDIER, but as myself. I kill Hojo; I kill Sephiroth–"

Zack shook his head disbelievingly.

"–and I almost murder Aerith. I'm a monster. Bad things happen wherever I go. I deserve to die, and if I did maybe none of this will happen."

The sternness entered Zack's voice again as he admonished roughly, "Cloud, don't you _ever _say that." He stared into Cloud's eyes, daring him to protest. "I've killed people. It's part of my job. If we're playing this game then _I _should be the one jumping off ShinRa Headquarters. You're talking about a future that can change. I've already killed."

"But–"

"So what, Spike? You can see people's deaths. Everyone dies. Whether it happens the way you see it or not, it doesn't really matter. Everyone is going to die someday anyway."

Cloud said nothing. The rain pattered lightly on them. His clothes were already soaked. He felt the weight sagging uncomfortably on his limbs. At last he decided in a whisper, "You don't believe me." He moved as if trying to stand, but Zack grabbed him fast.

"Hold on. I never said that." Zack kept a firm hold on Cloud's arm. "It's not that I don't believe you; it's just that…" He dropped the subject with a punctuating sigh. Instead he forced cheer by donning a gently teasing smirk, "And all this time I thought you avoided looking people in the eye because you were shy." Serious again, "But honestly, Spikey," he frowned, "why'd you think of trying to change the future by- by killing yourself? There are other ways to do things."

"I know," Cloud answered lowly. "I just got scared. When I saw myself _murdering _those people I just couldn't believe I could become someone so…terrifying."

Zack quirked an eyebrow. Smiling reassuringly he joked, "You've got a long way to go before scaring even a puny Mandragora. Don't worry about it. You know I'm looking out for ya."

"I know."

"I'll keep you in check. You aren't a monster, and I won't let you become one. Okay?" Zack held Cloud tightly with strong, unfailing arms. "You ready to get down from here now? I don't know about you, but even if I occasionally fall long distances on my missions, that doesn't mean I like it. Well, unless I'm falling into my girl's church. Even then it kinda hurts, though." He started to get up.

"Wait," Cloud stopped him.

Zack studied Cloud for a moment. The blond looked much like a distressed chocobo chick missing its mother. "There something else you want to tell me, buddy?" Zack questioned suspiciously.

"Just…" Cloud glanced at the pavement far below. "Just please don't tell anyone about this." His eyes pleaded. "Or how I can see part of someone's future."

Zack grinned and started to climb off the ledge, dragging Cloud with him. "Okay, but in trade, I wanna hear all about whatever other strange powers you have."

"Only if you tell me why you came out here in the first place," Cloud countered seriously as they walked toward the stairwell door.

Zack grinned jovially now. Throwing his arm about Cloud's shoulders he admitted, "Well, let's say that a certain someone thought it would be funny to hack into the building's security cameras and while he was in the room watching the feed, he saw a certain someone with spiky chocobo hair going up past the high security levels looking a bit distressed. The first certain person may have gotten a bit worried and come up to make sure his friend was okay, and it all goes from there."

Cloud smiled. "Thanks, Zack."

"Sure thing, kiddo."

* * *

-Dante


End file.
